Mathmagic AU Oneshots
by EpicKoopalings
Summary: A series of one-shots taking place in the AUs peeked at in the 'Mathmagic' episode and then some. Requests Welcome!
1. Santa Hat Janna AU-Go Get 'Em, Kid

**Hello, Star Fans! I, probably like many of you, were blown away by all the implied AUs in 'Mathmagic'. So now I'm starting this collection of one-shots that take place in many of the alternate universes seen in that episode and maybe even a few more! Requests for one-shots in a specific AU are more than welcome, just tell me in a review what you want! To start off, this one takes place in the very first of the other realities that we saw. Enjoy!**

* * *

Marco Diaz could only stare. Just moments ago, his guest Star Butterfly had just confessed that she had a crush on him. A _crush_. On _him_. Not long ago he had just reassured himself that he was good enough for a girl that rode a skateboard inside school walls, but the princess of a kingdom in another dimension, and one that was his best friend at that?

Marco needed to lie down. But first, the party. Slowly, Marco trudged back downstairs to where the end-of-school party had been completely ground to a halt. The guests all stared up at him expectantly.

"She's gone." Marco finally croaked out, eliciting another shocked gasp. "Party's over. Everyone out." Marco then said. Slowly but surely, everyone got the message and filed out of the Diaz household until Jackie, Janna, and Ponyhead were the only ones left. Soon after the latter two turned and left without another word. Marco watched the retreating form of Janna's trusty blue Santa hat as it left his home without a single glance back. Jackie stared at Marco for a little more before following them.

Marco trudged back up to Star's-no, the guest room, not caring that he would have to explain the whole thing to his parents later. He sat on the normal white bed and lay down, hoping that the tower he had grown so accustomed to would reappear. After a bit, he heard the sound of a dimensional portal opening behind him. Sporting a large grin, he whirled around only for the grin to instantly fall, for the portal in front of him was as orange as fire. Marco knew that portal all too well. A second later, the unmistakable form of Hekapoo stumbled out of the portal, causing Marco to instinctively assume a karate stance.

Upon seeing Marco, Hekapoo chuckled. "Easy, tiger. We're not mortal enemies anymore, remember?" Marco slowly lowered his stance. "Sorry. Sixteen-year-old habits die hard. Thanks again for completely messing me up, by the way."

"Still not sorry. Heh heh, Hurg! Ugh…" Hekapoo groaned. For the first time, Marco noticed that Heckapoo was holding an ice pack to her head. "Hey, are you okay?"

"I'll be fine." The commissioner said as she sat down on the bed next to Marco. "I've already spent about a year in my dimension recuperating, but still, Toffee really did a number on my life force."

Marco's eyes widened. "Toffee? The boring lawyer guy?"

Hekapoo stared at him for a few seconds before bursting out in hysterical laughter. "Oh my gosh! That is _totes_ what I'm calling him from now on!" Hekapoo laughed a bit more before coughing. "Anyway, yeah, that's him."

"But that's impossible. He's dead! He blew up with Star's wand, I saw it!"

"Oh, Marco, Marco." Hekapoo said as she shook her head. "Most Septarians can just slowly regenerate from severed limbs or whatever, but Toffee is the _immortal monster_. Even if there's next to nothing left, he'll find a way to come back. Plus, now he's got the other piece of the Butterfly Magic Wand, and _Omnitraxus_ , does he know how to use it!"

"Other piece?" Marco trailed off. Hekapoo looked at him incredulously. "Oh come on, Marco! A practical guy like you; you've seen that new wand how many times and you never noticed that half of the star was missing?!"

"Well, I-I don't know! I guess I just thought it was part of the upgraded design!"

"How would that-" Hekapoo groaned again as she applied more force to the ice pack on her head. "You know what, forget it. Not much you could have done, anyway."

"Heckapoo…" Marco slowly said. "Is Toffee coming back why Star had to leave?"

For the first time, Hekapoo looked as uncertain as one of her clones before Marco would blow them out. "Well, I'm not really supposed to…" the space warping entity shook her head. "Look, that's not why I'm here." Using her free hand, she reached into her dress and pulled something out. "I just dropped by to return these." Hekapoo dropped something cool and metallic into Marco's hands.

Marco marveled at his own pair of Dimensional Scissors, the one that the witch in front of him had crafted for him after he had risen up to meet her challenge.

"Star had those with her when she left." Hekapoo explained. "She left them on a table somewhere in the palace."

"Wh-why did you...? Are you telling me to go-"

"I'm not telling you to do anything. Those are _your_ Scissors. I made them especially for you." Hekapoo said as Marco's name briefly showed up on the blades. "And as anyone who knows me knows…" Hekapoo smirked as she pulled out her own Scissors, the ones that Star and Marco had originally used. "Hekapoo don't like it when a perfect pair of Dimensional Scissors are in hands they ain't supposed to be in. What you do with those is _your_ business."

Marco smiled. "Thanks, Hekapoo."

"Don't mention it, human." Hekapoo said as she took apart her Scissors and slashed open another portal. "Well, I should be getting back. The High Commission's got a lot to discuss…including a new leader…" Marco could have sworn that he saw a small tear form, but it evaporated a soon as it touched Hekapoo's skin. "Well, see ya." She said as she began to step through.

"Wait! One more thing!" Marco called out. Hekapoo stepped back and turned to face him.

"FYI, those Scissors of yours? We got them from Ponyhead."

"…King or Princess?"

"Oh, uh, Princess."

"Heh. Shoulda guessed." Hekapoo murmured as she got a very thoughtful and evil smile on her face. "Well thanks for the info, and Marco? Good luck." She said before she exited the dimension and closed the portal behind her.

Marco looked down at the Scissors in his hands. He lay back down on the guest bed and placed the Scissors on the ground next to it.

"Don't worry, Star. You won't have to face Toffee alone." Marco whispered as he closed his eyes. "After all, we're a team. I'll be there for you…"

* * *

 **So yeah, this wasn't much of an AU (though I highly doubt it'll happen this way in the show), but regardless, any one-shots of any of the other implied realities that you'd like to see, just let me know in a review!**


	2. Starco Role Reversal AU-Meeting Meteor

**Okay, so this AU isn't one from the episode, but I'm very interested in it, and I actually had originally planned to do a oneshot collection from just that AU, and it just kind of evolved from there. So expect to see more from this AU in the future. Again, requests don't necessarily have to be from the episode.**

* * *

"Scarlett Butterfly! Please report to the principal's office!" A golden blonde fourteen-year-old girl jerked her head up at the sound of the loudspeaker before her eyes became half-lidded. "Mr. Bulgolyubov?"

"Just go." Said the sturdy Russian man teaching the class. A few of Scarlett's classmates snickered as the proclaimed 'Queen of Detention' left to go to the principal's office once again. Her best friend Polly Hedd watched her with sympathy and confusion, as she could not recall pulling any pranks with the blonde recently.

"Hang in there, Scar!" The redhead called after her halfheartedly. Scar just nodded before leaving.

"You wanted to see me, Principal Skeeves?" Scar asked as she walked into the room.

"Yes, Miss Butterfly. Please have a seat." Said the principal, to which the teen complied. Scar noticed that he seemed to be cuddling a treasure chest of some sort.

"If this is about taking all the gum off of Otis for my art project…"

"Easy, Scarlett. You have not done anything wrong…wait, what?" He asked, having been too preoccupied with the chest in his hands.

Scar cleared her throat. "You were, uh, saying, Principal Skeeves?"

"Oh, yes, right. I want you to meet someone." Skeeves absentmindedly waved his hand to the left wall. Standing there was a boy about her age. He was dressed in a simple red hoodie and jeans, and oddly enough had a small red marking on each cheek shaped like a star, but he stood with an almost regal air. _Ugh_. Scar hoped he wasn't another of _those_ types. She got enough of that from Brittney.

"This is Meteor Dazzle. He's a, fairy prince or something." Skeeves said, still distracted.

"Um, actually, sir." The boy spoke up. "I'm a Mewman, from the kingdom of Mewni. The fairies have their own thing going on…"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. So anyway, Miss Butterfly, his parents think he's too safe to run a kingdom. Kings need to know when to take risks, or whatever. So they brought him here to toughen him up a little. They asked me to give him a guide, someone who's not afraid to live a little dangerously, and naturally, you were the first person that came to mind."

"Uh, thanks, I guess. Sooo, what do I-"

"Just show him around. He'll be moving in with you, so you'll have plenty of time."

"Wait, what?"

"Oh yes, I already talked it over with your parents. They think having a friend on the safe side would be good for you too, instead of just hanging around with that delinquent Polly all the time."

"I'm not sure if 'on the safe side' is the term I would use…" Meteor spoke up again. "Perhaps 'wisely cautious' or 'willing to consider all his options?'

"Your parents said 'on the safe side,' kid." Skeeves said again, causing the boy to deflate. "Anyway, if you'll excuse me, I've got a date with the ice cream parloooor!" Skeeves said in a sing-song tone as he skipped out of the room.

Meteor watched him go, only for Scar to be up in his face when he turned back.

"Hi! Sooo, I'm Scarlett Butterfly, but you can call me 'Scar!' My friends call me that because it's short for 'Scarlett' and also because I get hurt a lot! I've been told I can be a bit of a wild card! So you're moving in with me, huh?"

"Y-yeah, I guess?"

"AWESOME! My parents barely even let me have a sleepover anymore since last time when I flooded the house! Well, mostly my mom, Dad was actually pretty cool with it. He can be very cool sometimes, Mom not so much, but aaaanyway, are you really a prince? Are there really fairies where you come from? _Can you do magic?!_

"Whoa, whoa, calm down!" Meteor frantically said. "Yes, I'm a prince from Mewni; it's a magical kingdom in another dimension. From my extensive research, Mewni has a very proud history of-"

"Boooring! Show me the magic!"

"But…the ancient Mewmans had to fight very hard to-"

"Magic now, dull history later!"

"Ugh, well, I do have the family magic wand." Meteor pulled out the magical item. It consisted of a red and brown handle with the main body being a red triangle shape. There was a yellow triangle-shaped gem in the center of it. A small yellow star stuck out at the end of the handle and topping the item like antennae were two orange swirl shapes. It looked like a children's toy, but the human girl was instantly entranced by it. "Ooooohh my gosh! Showmeshowmeshowme!"

"M-magic?"

"Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyeeees!"

"Uuumm…maybe later." Meteor said as he quickly hid the wand from view. "It can be kind of unpredictable if you're not 100% sure what you're doing. At least that's what I've read; I've never actually used the thing." He chuckled nervously.

Scar let out a prolonged groan. "Uuuuuugh, fine. I'll show you around school, but I _will_ get you to use that wand!"

"Great…" Meteor slowly said as Scar led him by the hand. He could tell this was going to be quite the experience. He was so preoccupied as Scar showed him around, he didn't even notice the troll hiding in the bushes.


	3. StarLudo Switch AU-Dipping Down

**This one was suggested by Barbacar, who generously allowed me to use his own 'Star VS the Forces of Good' AU story for reference. You can read the original if you want; I just fleshed out the world's story a bit more so it's a little different. I hope you like it, Barbacar!**

* * *

Prince Ludo Butterfly wearily got to his feet. Everywhere he looked, he saw the rogue monsters, looking smug as they were evidently finally victorious. He looked around for his new ally, Buff Frog, until he saw him on his stomach, surrounded by Man Arm, Spikeballs, Three-Eyed Potato Baby, and the Mushroom Monster. His newly acquired tadpoles were scattered around him, him helpless to pick them up. "No! Do not be hurting my babies!" He wailed. And of course, there was the maddening giggle of Star Avarius. The crazed Mewman was the one behind all this. There she was in her green tunic and monster skull helmet. She stood near Ludo's best friend Marco Diaz, who was trapped in some sort of unbreakable crystal prison.

Ludo moved to help him, but he was pushed down by one of Lobster Claws' namesakes. The small bird-like creature was as helpless as a spider under a spoon.

"Ha ha! Now we gotcha!" Lobster Claws said giddily as Ludo struggled.

"Ngh! You idiots! Why are you doing this? We monsters got most of our land back in the Moon Revolution, remember? This is just evil!"

"What can I say? Being bad just feels so good! Besides, we're terrified of Star. We just kinda do whatever she says. Heh, Mewmans. Old habits, right?"

"You crustaceous ingrate! Is _this_ what Toffee died for?"

Lobster Claws shrugged with his free arm. "I dunno. I never knew the guy."

"You…you…" Until now, Ludo had tried his hardest to be a good guy. But now, frustration and exasperation were coursing through his veins harder than ever. He clenched his eyes shut, and when he opened them again, they were glowing green. Lobster Claws was taken aback. "Ludo?"

Suddenly, Ludo pulled out his magic wand, the object of Star's twisted desires, and fired a green blast of magic. It struck Lobster Claws in the face and knocked him back, leaving him completely unconscious and steaming red. Ludo's eyes dimmed back to normal. "What the-did I just…" The rest of Star's monsters that had been sneaking up on Ludo completely stopped in their tracks.

"What are you imbeciles doing?!" Star cried from where she stood. "Grab the wand!"

"Did you see what he just did?!" Marco retorted from inside his cage.

Taken aback, Ludo looked at his wand. It looked the same as it always did; a sharp rock held by a skeletal hand and arm with four (technically three and a half) fingers gripping the stone. Embedded in the center was a glowing green gemstone shaped like the jagged right half of a star. Now it was pulsing with green light. Suddenly, Ludo felt like his soul was being ripped from his body as he flew down a white tunnel with a cry before landing in a white cloudy area.

"Wh-what? Where am I? Marco?"

"Hello, Ludo." Came a smooth voice from out of nowhere.

"Who's there? I'm warning you, I have a-" Ludo reached for his wand, but found it wasn't there anymore.

"No, you don't." The voice said again. A tall Septarian (a type of lizard monster) in a sharp suit and slicked back hair stepped into view. "Because you're in it."

"Who are you?"

"My card." The lizard handed Ludo a business card. The prince looked at the single word printed on it: Toffee. "Perhaps you've heard of me." The stranger said calmly.

"Y-you're Toffee?!"

"Surprise."

"You…you're the one who-"

"Won the Moon Revolution? Yes." Toffee calmly said as the scene changed around them. It changed to show Castle Avarius, the previous home of Ludo's own family. There, legions of Mewman guards advanced towards it; defending it was an army of monsters. While the monsters outnumbered the Mewmans by a fair bit, it was them that looked worried. Leading the Mewmans was a young Moon Butterfly, bearing more than a striking resemblance to her daughter Star. Likewise, Toffee was at the head of the monsters, dressed for battle and wielding a sickle.

"The Mewmans had oppressed the monsters for far too long." Toffee explained. "It was time we took back what had been taken from us in the Great Monster Massacre. We declared a final war on the Mewmans." The scene seemed to fast forward. "The battle was devastating; it resulted in tragic losses of both sides. But all would not be in vain." Ludo suddenly found himself watching inside the trashed banquet hall of the castle, where Moon and Toffee were duking it out. Moon was firing blast after blast from her wand, but Toffee sliced apart every one with his sickle. Ludo noticed that the middle finger on his right hand was half gone.

"Give it up, Septarian!" The Mewman princess taunted. "Mewni will finally be free from your wretched kind!"

" _My_ wretched kind? Mewni was fine before you self-entitled cheaters came along!" Toffee's past self retorted. "Treating the murders of thousands of innocent monsters like a freaking holiday, living it up in your castle while monsters and even your own people starve; I assure you after today, all Mewmans will be equal!"

"Oh really? Levitato!" Moon shouted as she levitated a piece of column with her wand and hurled it at Toffee, who returned by raising his sickle and slicing through it, making the two halves veer off to the side and completely miss him. "Yes really. We monsters aren't as stupid as you think we are. We've studied the Butterflys' magic for generations. There's no spell you can cast that I don't know about!" Toffee managed to get a lucky swing and scratch Moon across her arm, making her cry out and fall to the ground, her wand clattering beside her.

"Give it up, Moon. You've lost. Mewni is ours once again." Toffee said as he leaned down to look her in the eye. He reached for the wand. "And now your own wand will make sure it stays that way." Moon suddenly lunged forward and grabbed the wand just as Toffee did. "You're wrong. There's one spell that you don't know!" Moon started whispering quickly. Toffee raised an eyebrow. "What are you-" Toffee cut himself off as a small ghost resembling a unicorn floated out of the wand. Shortly after the unicorn departed, the wand began shaking in his and Moon's hands. The large blue heart on top started to crack down the middle.

"If I can't have this wand," Moon sneered, "No one can."

Toffee's eyes widened. "But this'll just-"

"I have Butterfly blood. I'll survive. Will you?" The princess cheekily asked. Toffee looked at the wand one last time before letting a small smile come to his face. Outside the castle, the battle stopped as Castle Avarius suddenly exploded in a brilliant flash of light.

Moon, from where she was curled up, shook her head as she tried to stop the ringing in her ears. She then looked up to see herself surrounded by monsters and Mewmans alike. A large hulking figure approached her. Moon recognized him as Lord Brudo Avarius, the master of the castle.

"Where's your wand?" The large bird asked.

"Gone." Moon spat.

"…And Toffee?"

"He's gone too. Your greatest champion is now dead." The monsters in the crowd exchanged wide-eyed looks and frantic murmurs. Brudo quieted them with a wave of his hand. He glared down at Moon. "Toffee may have fallen, but your rule has fallen with him. Without your precious magic, you Mewmans are defenseless." The Mewmans knew he was right as they looked over their monstrous enemies with hopeless expressions. Now that the wand was gone, they didn't stand a chance.

"As of this moment, we monsters will have free reign over what is rightfully ours. The Mewmans will now make their homes in the dark forests and swamps, just as we did. And that goes for _all_ Mewmans." He said to Moon, who just scowled in response. "Furthermore, as second-in-command of Toffee's revolution, it is my duty to take everything from our foes, including their name. From now on, my family name shall be 'Butterfly' and yours shall be 'Avarius'. Take this as a permanent reminder of who the true monsters are." Brudo then turned and left, his victorious monsters following as they pushed the now-dejected Mewman soldiers along. Many of them glanced back at their no-longer-princess, but she refused to meet anyone's gaze.

"Wow…" Ludo breathed as the scene faded away.

"Yes, that day was a truly momentous occasion for monsters." Toffee said with a smile.

"But…what about my wand? If it blew up?"

"A few days after the battle, a Curiously Attractive Minotaur discovered your wand buried in the dirt near the new ruins. It has since become the new Royal Wand. Naturally, the Avariuses, previously the Butterflys, want it back, and now their daughter is trying to succeed where they failed. Unbeknownst to them, I'm truly exceptional among Septarians, and though my body was almost completely destroyed, here I am, in the wand."

"So what do I do? How do I help you?" The bird prince asked.

"Don't worry about me, Ludo. Just focus on helping your current friends."

"But how? I've never been able to get the hang of this thing!"

"A little tip: the wand is cleaved."

"Cleaved?"

"Yes, cleaved. This is only a piece of the original wand, which normally strengthens with emotion. The piece you have, on the other hand, gets more powerful with negative emotion. In other words, dip down, get really angry, and the wand will work the way you want it to."

"Really?"

"Really. Now it's time for you to go back."

"Wait! Will I see you again?" Ludo asked as he began to only see Toffee through a tunnel.

"I'll be here with you, my prince. I'll be here." Was all Toffee said before Ludo found himself back in the real world. Surprisingly, he seemed to only have been gone a few seconds, as the monsters behind him were standing in the same spots.

"What are you idiots waiting for?! Take the wand!" Star hollered.

"You know this cage isn't soundproof, right?" Marco groaned from a few feet away.

"You, I've had just about enough of you." Ludo mumbled. He readied his wand and clenched his teeth.

 _Dip down. Get really angry._

"Why…" Slowly, Ludo's wand shone brighter and brighter.

"Don't…" Bright rays of light started emitting from it.

"You…" The surrounding monsters all kept their distance.

"Just…" Taking his chance, Buff Frog scooped up all his tadpoles. "Daddy didn't forget you, Katrina." He whispered to the last one before he got the heck out of there.

Star looked scared now. "L-Ludo?"

" _GO AWAY!_ " Ludo shouted with glowing green eyes as a large fist made of green light expanded outward from the wand directly towards Star. The Mewman was too shocked to move and the fist collided with her body, punching through the wall of her base (a large yellow Mewni-like tower with a smaller green tower sticking out from the stop like a Naysaya) and sending the girl flying with a wail.

Everyone was silent as they beheld the gaping hole in the wall. Ludo was still standing with his wand out in the same position. Expression not changing, he moved his wand a little to the right and fired several shots at Marco's cage. The boy braced himself, but as soon as the blasts hit the crystal, they seemed to dissolve it, soon making a hole big enough for him to walk through. Ludo's eyes then returned to normal before he collapsed to the ground.

"Ludo!" Marco quickly ran over to help his friend. He turned him over. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I think so." Ludo shook his head. "Did I do that?"

"You sure did." Marco said, smiling. Ludo returned the smile as he hugged his best friend.

"So, uh…" Marco and Ludo looked up. Star's monster minions had gathered in a group in front of them. The one that had spoken was the red one with two heads (Though which head would probably forever remain a mystery).

"What do we do now?" The right head asked.

* * *

Star groaned before picking herself up. "Where am I?" She asked as she looked around. "Oh, I see. Nowhere; well, that's just great. Aaaand my helmet's gone, too. Ugh, that stupid bird. He and the cute one will probably convince those lunkheads to be 'good' now or whatever. Wait, no, he's not cute, not cute!" Star shook her head to clear her thoughts when she noticed a large pile of rubble in the distance. Upon approaching it, she noticed that it looked like the remains of a castle or something. She walked up to a wooden sign and brushed the dust from it.

"'Castle Avarius?'" She read aloud. "Ohhh, this must be where the Moon Revolution took place. Great, like I need _another_ reminder." Star was about to turn away when she noticed some kind of light shining from the top of the rubble. Curious, she slowly climbed the pile until she got to the top. She cleared the rubble until she uncovered some sort of tall prism-shaped crystal.

As soon as she touched it, the crystal shattered into pieces with a bright light. Somehow, even though Star hastily raised her arms in front of her face, none of the fragments even touched her. When Star looked again, an object was floating in front of her. It was a magic wand; it was pink and blue with a yellow star shape in the middle, though only half of the star was actually there.

Star slowly took the item in her hands. She stood up on top of the rubble. "What?" She whispered.


	4. MewbertyStar AU-Stuck Like This

**Wow, four reviews asking for a oneshot with Mewberty Star? And three of them by the same person? Well, as the old saying goes: ask and ye shall receive.**

 **Also, Glossaryck is surprisingly hard to write for.**

* * *

Marco slowly trudged into Star's tower. All the way he was trailing little purple papery hearts. When he got to the curtains hanging from the back wall, he lifted up the legs of his pants and caused a ton of the hearts to spill out from inside. Afterwards he opened his mouth and even more poured out. After Marco finished spitting out all the hearts, he thrust aside the curtains to reveal Star's mirror.

" _Okay, how does she do this?"_ Marco whispered to himself. "Uh, Mirror Mirror on the Wall, um, call Queen Butterfly."

"NO SUCH CONTACT." The mirror responded. Marco sighed before speaking again. "Fine. Call MOM."

"CALLING MOM." The mirror said. After a few seconds, Queen Butterfly's visage appeared.

"Hello, St-Oh, it's you. Er, Mango, isn't it?"

"Marco, actually. I need to talk to you about something."

Moon sighed. "What has Star done?"

"Weeelll, it started earlier today at school." Marco then ruffled his hair, causing even more of the purple hearts to shake loose. As soon as Moon saw them, her eyes widened. "Oh, dear. Don't tell me Star went through…Oh, I was hoping to be by her side when this happened. I can't believe I missed it!"

"That's just it. You didn't." Marco deadpanned. Suddenly, Star literally flew into the room. Moon gaped as she took in her daughter's purple skin, four additional arms, and wings, the latter she was clearly enjoying if her constant whooping was anything to go by. "Mewberty hasn't ended? Didn't you say it started in the morning? This is very unsettling." Moon asked Marco once she finally pried her eyes off of Star.

"You don't know the half of it. At first it was just one heart, then a bunch of 'em, then Star got stuck to someone's locker, and someone pooped in the pool, so the swim team had to practice in the hallway, and thanks to Ferguson, I had to ask for Star's _libro_ instead of just her book, then I had to risk jeopardizing my reputation by stealing a pudding cup from the cafeteria, and Star flew off with a dropout and his car, and that weird little blue book man was no help _whatsoever_!" Marco panted heavily as he finished.

"…I don't know what most of that means." Moon said after a moment. "But Glossaryck didn't help? Really?"

"NO! He was just all, _'scrape the sides'_ and _'nature is like a dump truck.'_ It was just so…Eergh!"

"That's odd. Let me speak to him."

"You called, my lady?" Glossaryck said, suddenly floating next to Marco, causing him to jerk away in surprise with a yell. "How-when did-?"

"I followed you home." Glossaryck said, pointing behind him to where the book of spells lay on the floor. "Janna ran out of pudding."

"Glossaryck, what is the meaning of this?" Moon said, getting his attention. "Star's metamorphosis should be complete by now, shouldn't it?"

"Normally, yes, but alas, every so often, a young Mewman girl enters Mewberty and doesn't change back, at least not on the outside. It's like switching to a new brand of pudding. Sure, it's different, but once you've had a taste, you just can't go back!"

"…What is pudding, again?" Moon asked.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wiat!" Marco interrupted. "Are you saying that Star is _stuck_ like this?!"

"Just until she's fully developed and can change form at will. Shouldn't be longer then, oh, sometime next decade, I'd say?" Glossaryck surmised.

"A DECADE?! DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID TO THE SCHOOL TODAY?!"

"Of course, I was there. Please stop shouting." Glossaryck said calmly.

"This is hard for me to grasp too, Marco." Moon interrupted. "Mewberty for me was…hazy at best. But in the end, it was all part of a young Mewman lady's development."

"And fret not, my Queen. While Star's _body_ will remain the same, her _mind_ will soon go back to its usual not-boy-crazy state. For the most part."

"Well, that's a relief, at least." Moon said with a smile.

"Hold up, 'for the most part?' I'm the one who has to deal with this, remember?" Marco said, gesturing to Star, still flying around like an actual butterfly.

"Don't worry, Marco. I expected that Mewberty would happen during Star's stay on Earth, so I packed a copy of _Mewberty & You_ with her things." Moon explained.

"Wait, does it have a purple cover? I'm pretty sure I've seen it somewhere in Star's unbelievably messy side of our shared bathroom."

" _Why am I not surprised?_ Anyway, yes, that's it. All the information you need should be there."

"Thanks, uh, Your Highness."

"You're very welcome. Oh, and Glossaryck? Marco is Star's official guide during her stay on Earth. I'm not sure why you're speaking in riddles all of a sudden, but from now on, speak to him as if you were speaking to me, okay?"

Glossaryck put a hand to his chest and bowed. "As you wish, my lady."

"Good. Best of luck." Moon said before she ended the call.

Marco and Glossaryck turned back to look at Star for a moment. "Guess I should find that book." Marco finally said.

"Certainly, after you get down, that is."

"What do you mean-" No sooner had Marco opened his mouth than a sticky purple web made of hearts snatched him by the left arm and carried him away screaming.

"…That." Glossaryck said.

* * *

The next morning, Marco was lying on Star's bed while the perma-Mewberty princess was making calls on her mirror.

"So only Mewman _girls_ go through Mewberty, huh?" Marco said aloud as he read _Mewberty & You_, a squat purple book with the title in yellow cursive.

"Call…Boy…" Star managed to say.

"CALLING ANY BOY." The mirror said as it made another call.

Marco turned to her with a look of annoyance. "Star, you've been freaking out random guys all morning. At least prank them!"

The mirror connected to a creature with green dripping skin and an onion-shaped head. "Hello?"

"Boooy." Star said, pressing her face up against the glass.

"Aahh!" The creature recoiled. He noticed Marco over Star's shoulder. "Hey, get your friend here under control!"

"Can't. She's one of the rare few that are stuck in Mewberty." Marco stated dully while still reading, having said this phrase several other times.

"Oh for the love of-I don't have time for this." The man said before he ended the call. After frantically patting the glass with her six hands for a moment, Star backed up. "Call…boy…" She said again.

Finally, Marco closed the book. "Star, I think that's enough for one-"

An image of a pixie dressed like a secretary appeared. "I'm sorry, but you have exceeded your minutes. Your mirror service has been temporarily suspended. Please visit our office in Pixtopia to settle your bill." The pixie giggled before the mirror went to static and shut down.

"Nonononono!" Star cried, banging on the glass. "Must see boooys!" She sat down and huddled in a ball.

"Woah, woah, Star, it's okay." Marco said, walking over to her, grabbing her Dimensional Scissors from atop a nearby dresser. "We'll just go to this 'Pixtopia' and pay your bill, okay?"

Star sniffled before smiling and throwing her three pairs of arms around Marco. After the Earthling took a moment to recover, he shook his head and cut open a portal. "We'll be in and out. Easy-peasy." Marco said as he led Star by the shoulder into the portal.

* * *

It was _not_ easy-peasy. Before Marco even knew what was happening, he, a satyr, and a dwarf were being carried by Star's webs as she flew down a mine cart tunnel with three crazy pixies chasing after them in a cart.

' _Why aren't they just flying?'_ Marco thought to himself.

"Really wishing we had taken the bathroom-cart right about now." The satyr whined. "You said it." The elderly dwarf agreed. Eventually, the quartet lost the wardens when they fell down a slope. Star then flew up and let them go in what could only be the Pixtopia Castle. Instantly, they were surrounded by pixie guards wielding swords and even a chainsaw.

"Oh, my." One pixie said as she floated towards them. From her large wings and crown, Marco assumed she was in charge. He carefully got up while watching the various pointy things aimed at his person. "Hi there. So are you the pixie princess, or queen, or…"

"I prefer Empress, thank you." She softly said as she hovered around him. "And I must say, you look very lean."

"Um, thank you?"

"Do you work out?"

"Well, I take karate, so…"

Suddenly, Star flew in-between them and loomed over the Empress threateningly.

"Woah woah, Star, easy." Marco said as he quickly got in front of her. "You'll have to excuse her. Mewberty; you know how it is, heh heh."

The Empress smiled. "Guards, this one stays with me." She said, placing her hand on Marco's shoulder. "You can kill the other three." She said nonchalantly.

Before Marco could double-take, the pixie guards swarmed at them. Luckily, Star flew into the air and shot purple webs from her fingers, instantly trapping most of them against the walls, completely helpless.

"Look, um, Miss Empress, I think we could work this out," Marco tried to reason, but Star shot her webs at the Empress next, which she barely dodged. Star then chased after her as she flew away, continually firing.

"Star, wait! Ugh, shy is she suddenly being so aggressive? Oh wait…" Marco pulled _Mewberty & You_ out of his hoodie pocket and opened it (since all of the pixies were focused on Star).

"Ah, here we go! 'Girls going through Mewberty will naturally want their catches all to themselves, but if someone approaches their boys with intention to harm, the Mewman will act violently and aggressively to protect them, especially boys that they like on a…deeper level?' The heck does that mean?" Marco asked as he scratched his head.

"No…eat….Marco…" Star drolled as she continued to shoot webs at the Empress. Deciding to ponder later, Marco caught up to her and grabbed her middle right arm. "Woah, Star, easy! She's not going to eat me!"

"Of course not!" The Empress waved off. "I have to marry you before I can eat you!"

"Exactl-wait, _what_?!" Marco said incredulously. The royal pixie shrugged. "It's Pixtopian tradition. It'd be rude if I consumed your juicy excess skin _before_ we were engaged."

"Uh…I, uh…" While Marco was stammering, Star shot out one last stream of webbing, trapping the Empress and the last of her guards against the wall with the others.

"Listen, um, you guys have been great," Marco started as he took out Star's Dimensional Scissors (actually, he was grateful they hadn't been confiscated). "But I just don't think your mirror service is right for us anymore. We'll just, uh, find another provider if that's okay with you." Marco cut a portal home. "Thank you for your time, heh heh, _come on, Star_." He urged as he pulled the princess through the portal.

"He was probably out of my league anyway." The Empress dreamily sighed from where she was trapped as her guards struggled to get free.

Marco let out a sigh of relief once he and Star were back in the tower. "Phew! I am _glad_ that's over!" He smiled at Star where she was just lazily hovering. "Maybe this Mewberty thing isn't so bad after all. It sure saved our butts back there." Star returned his smile before hugging him again and flying downstairs.

' _And maybe those six-armed hugs aren't so bad either.'_ Marco thought as he followed her down to make some victory nachos.

Glossaryck, floating above the pages of the open spellbook while playing and holding a paddleball between his toes, watched him leave. Slowly, he dropped the paddleball. "Guess I'll just, uh, handle that 'switching providers' thing…in case the Queen calls…oookay." He said as he left to do so.


	5. ProperStar AU-Just a Precaution

**PLEASE READ THIS!**

 **Okay, first off, a hundred thank yous to all the reviewers so far for their kind words. They mean a lot to me. Which brings me to my next point. This is my first time writing oneshots, so I may have misunderstood the exact terminology a little. To everyone who thinks that I'll only be writing one chapter per AU, let me clear the air right now and say that THIS IS NOT THE CASE.**

 **I already have ideas for more scenes in the Ludo Switch and Mewberty AUs, and others that I haven't even introduced yet. So fear not anyone who thinks I don't want to expand on my own work, because I certainly do! Regardless, if anyone still wants me to continue or write a particular moment in any of the AUs, feel free to request like always!**

 **Furthermore, on the off chance that any of these [maybe not technically] oneshots inspire you to create your own versions, don't let me hold you back from doing so!**

* * *

All of Mewni was in a buzz. Today was Princess Star Butterfly's 14th birthday, which meant that she officially inherited the royal family magic wand. All the townspeople gazed up at Mewni Castle as they could only imagine what was going on inside.

To answer that question, all the nobles were gathered in the royal hall as they waited. Queen Moon and King River looked to each other happily. They had been looking forward to this day for quite a while.

Finally, the doors opened. In stepped the princess, with her elegant sky-blue dress and golden blonde hair done up in a large heart shape. All in all, Star was the spitting image of her mother, and she strode forward with all the poise and elegance that she did as well. Finally, she stopped in front of her parents.

Moon approached her. "Star Butterfly. As you know, this wand is a big responsibility. If it falls into the hands of evil forces, the universe could be destroyed. Can we trust you to wield this wand for the good of all Mewni?"

Star nodded. "Yes you can."

"Very well." Moon held the wand to Star, who took it in her own hand. In a flash of light, the wand changed shape. The blue crystal heart was now a blue crystal ball with a small crown on top and a yellow star in the middle with smaller yellow hearts around it. The handle was the same tan color, but with small white wings on the base next to a blue butterfly shape. Finally, the charger, previously the yellow insignia attached to the top of Moon's wand, was now the commercial blue heart and was attached to the bottom.

Moon's proud smile drooped for just a moment. Apart from the shape and various extra bells and whistles, Star's incarnation of the wand looked almost exactly like her own. That had never happened before. Every previous generation had given their own completely unique look to the wand. Granted, Star had always taken after her mother, but Moon honestly hadn't expected this. One quick glance confirmed that River had similar concerns.

"I promise, Mother, I will keep this wand within my sight at all times. I will do my best to properly handle it like a true Princess."

"I know you will, darling." Moon said with a nod. With that, the ceremony ended.

Over the next day, Star only used the wand for small things such as maintaining her hairstyle and the classic 'levitating the apple' exercise. She had just perfected her new 'Cloudy' spell when she discovered that to her horror, her personal belongings were being packed up.

"I do not understand, Mother! Where are you sending me? Surely not to..." Star gasped. "St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses! If this is because I accidentally got a few bits of Cloudy on the floor-"

"Sweetheart, please, calm down." River intervened. "We would never dream of sending you to St. O's!"

"Indeed. We are just...providing you with a safe dimension to practice your magic in." Moon took over. "It is merely a precaution in case anything goes wrong. You can understand that, right?"

Star sniffled. "I…suppose so." Moon took her daughter's hands. "You will be fine, Star. We have already set everything up for you in this new dimension. School, a temporary home, everything. Trust me, you are going to love it!"

* * *

Sometime later, Star (still in her royal attire having refused to discard it) was being shown around by the principal of the school she'd be attending. She was curiously observing a drinking fountain when a Latino boy about her age in a red hoodie approached them. "Marco!" Principal Skeeves greeted. "I'd like you to meet our new foreign exchange student, Star Butterfly." Star turned to face him as he looked her over. "…Why is she dressed like that?" Marco whispered to Skeeves. "She's a princess." He whispered back. "Whaa…?"

"Her parents personally requested a responsible, never-take-chances type to be her guide; and who better than you, the safe kid?" Skeeves finished. Star curtsied. "It is a great pleasure to meet your acquaintance Sir Marco, the Safest of Kids."

" _What?!_ " Marco recoiled, making Star worry that she had said something wrong. "Nononono, I am completely wrong for this! I'm a misunderstood bad boy!" Marco did something with his arms that Star didn't understand.

"You're adorable! Skeeves said as he pinched Marco's cheek, soon afterward prancing away talking about frozen cream or something. She looked warily at Marco for fear of offending him again while he just looked at her as if he couldn't believe this was actually happening. Finally, he sighed and held out his hand. "Come on, I'll show you around." Star smiled (and blushed a little) before taking his hand and letting her new guide acquaint her with the building.

A ways off in front of the school, Star's parents stood near their carriage and watched Star begin her tour via binoculars. When Moon took them away from her face, she sighed. With some effort, River put his hand on her shoulder. "We knew we would have to do this, Moon. And it's the right thing to do. Placing both Star and the wand in this dingy dimension is the perfect way to protect not only them, but all of Mewni as well."

"I know, River, but that doesn't make it any easier."

"We'll come back for her when the problem is finally taken care of. My dear, you of all people should know the magnitude of the threat we are facing here."

"Yes I do." Moon reached into a small hidden pocket in her dress (custom ordered to the royal tailor years ago) and pulled something out: a severed, sickly green finger. "Believe me, I do." She said wistfully.

"Come on then, back to Mewni." River said as he hopped back in the carriage. Moon moved to follow him but stopped as she glanced back at the school one more time. "Stay strong, my daughter." She whispered before getting in the carriage and letting the driver take them home.


	6. WarriorStar AU-Bred for Battle

**This was another idea requested by Barbacar. This one was for the crystal that showed Star dressed in her armor from "School Spirit." Credit to him/her for thinking this up. Thanks again for your great idea, Barbacar!**

* * *

"WAHOO!" Star cried as she rode a wild warnicorn straight into the waiting room. Everyone waiting there took a step back as she rode to the front of the room before jumping off and letting the warnicorn exit through a window. Her father King River stared down at his daughter…

…before breaking out into a large smile. "Fantastic entrance, Star!" he said, clapping her on the back. "That's my girl!"

"I learned from the best!" Star beamed, her smile clashing with the black battle armor that she wore. For the occasion, she placed little heart-eyed skull stickers over her normally heart-shaped cheek marks (of course they actually did turn into those skulls, just when she was _really_ pumped for a battle, which was quite often).

"Now then..." River announced to the underground armory room while holding up the family magic wand; currently it was a short light-gray rod with a short piece of bone at the end of the handle and tipped with a sharp, blood-red diamond. "As you know, Star, the royal Johansen family has held this wand as long as they've ruled Mewni; that is, since the Great Monster Massacre." The Johansens in the room all cheered at the mention of their favorite holiday. "I know, right?" River said.

Once the commotion died down, River continued. "Ever since, our family has used this wand to rule the kingdom." In the training room they were in, there were several tapestries depicting several past Johansens doing several violent deeds with the wand; last but not least was River's, showing a young version of him turning the wand into a sword that fired a beam of magic and pierced a shocked lizard-like monster, completely slicing off one of its fingers.

"But for the first time in history, since the firstborn royal child is a daughter instead of a son, you, Star, will use this wand as a warrior rather than a queen." River finished. "Can you do that?"

"Sure, Dad, but…" Star looked unsure for the first time. "…Will I have to give the wand to Nebula for when he's king?"

River laughed. "Let's wait until your toddler brother is fourteen to worry about that. Besides, until then, he'll need you to protect him."

Star's smile returned. "Okay, Dad."

"Here you go, Star." River said as he handed her the wand. As soon as the girl took it, it changed into a purple rod topped with a purple ball with a yellow star in the center, a tiny white spike on each side, and a small yellow helmet shape on top. Almost immediately afterwards, the wand transformed into a long black mace with a purple star on the end. Star twirled it in her hand for a moment before smashing it into the floor inches in front of River's feet. "A mace. Good choice, Star." The king complimented.

Star took it all in giddily. She had been trained to be a royal warrior all her life, but now she was going to do it with _magic!_ This was going to be so great!

* * *

…However, after Star nearly smashed the town to bits just chasing a small group of Cyclopes, River hesitantly agreed (with some 'encouragement' from Moon) to send Star to a safer dimension called 'Earth' to partake her training in. And from the instant her new guide Marco Diaz saw a fourteen-year-old girl in battle armor smash a drinking fountain with a mace, he knew he had his work cut out for him. After a while of getting to know her, though, Marco learned that she wasn't as crazy as he first thought. She was just…very passionate about being a warrior, as he saw for himself when she almost single-handedly had Ludo and his monsters begging for mercy at the convenience store.

Star wasn't _all_ bloodthirsty, though. She was very fun-loving and loved to party, as proven when her best friend Princess Pony Head took them for a night on the town before she was sent to princess jail or whatever it was. Star even had a girly side, as shown when she tried to help Miss Skullnick with her love life. Unfortunately…

"Skullzy, Skullzy, calm down!" Star urged her transformed teacher as she continued to cry while being pinned to the dirt by her and Marco. "Being a troll isn't so bad!"

"My life is _over!_ " She cried.

"No it isn't! Trolls live up to four hundred years!"

Finally, Skullnick calmed down a little. "R-Really?"

"Really?" Marco echoed.

"Sure! Part of my royal warrior upbringing is knowing everything about every monster! You're also super strong now! Look at all that muscle!" Star said as she and Marco let her stand up.

"I don't have any-" Skullnick flexed her right bicep only for it to be big and ripped. "Did I do that?"

Star and Marco nodded in unison.

"Ah- _ha_!" Ludo cried as he suddenly swooped in on his bat monster. "I have you now, Princess Star, at your most distracted!"

"What do you mean? I'm not distracted."

"I don't know, you seem pretty-" Star pointed her mace at Ludo and fired the spiky ball at him, cutting him off and knocking him off his bat. With that, the other monsters surrounded them.

Star smirked at Skullnick. "Trolls are also naturally gifted fighters." She said as she briefly turned her mace back into a wand and cast a spell that dressed Skullnick in troll-sized armor complete with a battle axe. "Whaddya say?"

Skullnick grinned maliciously before twirling the axe in her hand. "I say _bring it on_!" She yelled as the three charged into battle.

Needless to say, the monsters were made quick work of, though Skullnick ended up leaving with a Curiously Attractive Minotaur monster that had been instantly enamored by her looks and fighting skills. Unfortunately, he apparently dumped her shortly after, which resulted in the worst pop quiz she had ever given. Though Star did hear her mumble to herself about being a teenager again.

Of course, that was _nothing_ compared to Star's first football game…

* * *

"Star, what is going on with you? Your hearts are skulls again and you have that crazy look in your eyes like whenever Ludo tries to attack."

"What do you mean?" Star panted. "I'm just making sure no one on our team dies tragically. This time the battlefield will run red with Warrior blood!" Star wickedly cackled.

"Wait, you think-" Marco chuckled. "No, Star. It's not a literal battle! The Warriors are a football team, and they're just going to score significantly more points than our team. It's a game!"

"…Oh." Star said flatly. "That might have been useful to know before I put deadly booby traps all over the field."

" _...WHAT?!"_

No sooner had Marco said that than the whistle blew and the Warrior who did the kickoff got blown into the air by a sparkly landmine. Suffice to say, mass hysteria pretty much instantly broke out as the field quickly became a magical deathtrap. Soon, the trapdoor was opened, unleashing the transformed swarm of butterflies, a bird, two flying squirrels and a trio of three-eyed flaming cats.

"Let me guess, the kitty cat offense?" Marco deadpanned.

"It was _your_ idea." Star defended. "…At least I did a good job with all this, right?"

"Come on!" Marco yelled as he pulled Star into the field. The two did their best to save both teams from the magic weapons and monsters that Star had cooked up. Star shot elongating spikes from her mace at all the land mines she could to blow them up. Then she saw Brittney Wong get eaten by a large dragon-like worm beast.

"Razor Light Whipsaw!" Star yelled as she cast a spell from her wand-turned weapon that formed into a spinning ring of light that made a metallic whirring sound. As soon as it made contact with the monster, it sliced it in half, turning it into bugs and leaving Brittney covered in slobber. Afterwards she turned her attention to the sky and the sharp-fanged butterflies. "Sense Shocking Zappy Nets!" Star's mace became electrified before shooting the lighting into the air and making net shapes. All the monster bugs that flew into them were shocked before turning into dozens of normal (if burnt to a crisp) butterflies.

Star continued in this manner for a bit until she noticed one of the Warriors desperately trying to get out of one of her vortexes. She tried to pull him out before noticing Marco having trouble with one of the squirrels. She instantly abandoned the Warrior, ignoring his screams for help as she jumped at the squirrel. "Super Sharp Leaf Storm!" Star shot metal leaves like arrows, ripping the monster squirrel apart into non-monster squirrels. Star turned back to where she had left the other guy. "Vortex Collapsing Genesis Wave!" Star shouted as she swung her mace into the ground and produced a shockwave of green energy that normalized the magic vortexes into normal holes in the ground that the Warriors wearily climbed out of.

Star and Marco soon found themselves surrounded by the rest of the animals. Star ducked under a blast of fire breath from one of the cats before readying her next spell. "Blizzard Counter Death Swing!" Star's mace turned light-blue and started emitting frosty steam. Star jumped, twirled in midair, and swung the mace directly into the cat's third eye, after which it exploded back into normal cats. Star did the same with the other two cats before meeting the other squirrel. "Nitro Nacho Nightmare!" Star shouted as her mace glowed red before a stream of nachos and hot sauce shot out of it and engulfed the squirrel, making it scream in agony from the burning before it popped into its previous form. And after a false alarm with Ferguson, the battle was officially clear.

"That…was… _AWESOME!_ " Star shouted elatedly. After the thrill of combat wore off a little, she took a closer look at the ruined football field and her smile fell. "Except I guess I really messed up your…game."

"You mean _we_ messed up." Marco corrected. "I should have been looking out for you. Besides, I used words like 'slaughter' and 'bloodbath' to a princess in love with fighting! What did I expect?" He lightly laughed which Star joined. "And yeah, I guess that was pretty awesome. Though now I guess everyone's gonna hate us." However, Marco was quickly proven wrong when the Warriors ran away and forfeited the game, making everyone claim Star and Marco as heroes and hoist them onto their shoulders.

"Huh, why does it feel I'm forgetting something…" Star mumbled before jerking her head to the right and cocking her mace like a bazooka above Marco's head. "Duck."

Marco knew way better than to question as he ducked. Star fired the spike ball like a missile, which collided with the magic monster bird; subsequently it exploded and reduced the creature to a mess of feathers and fried eggs. "That was it." Star said proudly as the tip of her mace handle smoked.

Marco smiled and shook his head. Just another day with the royal warrior princess Star Johansen!


End file.
